Today I "worked from home," which is not an accurate statement at all. I love my work from home days, but I was spending 16 hours trying to get 5 hours worth of work done. The solution? I've been working 12-hour days at the office on Monday and Tuesday and we've hired a sitter to come to the house from 6am-10am on Wednesdays. That way, in the not-so-rare instance that nothing more happens in terms of actual work after 10am, it's not the end of the world. I finish out the week working 8am-4:30pm on Thursdays and working from home on Fridays, meaning I monitor emails as I am able while Finn is awake and I work while he is asleep.
This new arrangement on Wednesday mornings has allowed me to get four hours of dedicated work done, which is a lot more work than I usually get done between 8am-4:30pm at the office. There are no interrupted thoughts, no phone calls, no distractions. It also allows me fully focus on Finn while he is awake without feeling guilty… Working from home brings with it constant guilt for not being a fully-present mom and employee simultaneously. When Finn was barely crawling it was usually safe to have a laptop out. These days it would be covered in drool, used as a drum set, and also receiving hugs all at the same time. Finn definitely got my multi-tasking skills.
This kid knows how to play. He has no concept of danger and can crawl faster than I thought possible. At the end of a full day at home my head hits the pillow and I am OUT. Having Wednesdays and Fridays with Finn has been an incredible blessing and has also opened my eyes to a whole new kind of tired.
God had given me a sense of peace in the past two months that His plan for me working outside of the home has a purpose and it is a season. Although it is incredibly hard to leave in the morning, I am finding new appreciations for work each and every day. I have a huge amount of respect for the moms who are home with their kiddos day in and day out. Going to work is a necessary part of my life right now and not something I desire to do forever, but it does have an up-side and a few undeniable luxuries. For example, being able to drink coffee without a small hand grasping for the mug, sitting in the same chair for more than thirty seconds at a time, and just generally being able to do anything I want to do...and doing it alone. I can choose to be resentful about missing three days a week of Finn's life, or I can choose to be thankful for the blessings I have at work and the four days a week I do get to spend with him.
To all the stay-at-home moms, your work is so physically exhausting that if I am ever given the opportunity to stay home I might need to join a gym, boot camp, or some other sort of endurance building club to prepare for the ranks. My days at home definitely feel more like work than the days I go to work. You are inspiring.
"Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful."